Monday, December 12, 2011

Change of plans.

So, a series of events have led to a big change. That wedding that I was planning for 23 months from now? Got moved. To 11 months from now.

Now, at first blush, that may seem to be a while, but if you've ever planned a wedding you know that when you're 11 months out and haven't done anything, you're behind. You can pick your colors and your venue and so forth at any point in your life, in theory, you can figure that stuff out ten years before your wedding sitting on a park bench somewhere. So when the first things on wedding checklists are things like, "Decide on your color scheme," and "Outline a guest list," well, for me anyway, that's the easy part. But right around the year mark you start getting into the hair stuff with specifics: Who's making your boutonnieres? Will your venue allow you to make centerpieces? How much set-up time will your DJ need? You thought you'd DIY your invitations but do you actually have a plan for that? What drink options does your caterer offer? Who cuts your cake? How far in advance do you need to book your bakery for the cake? One answer leads to three more questions, and before you know it "answering e-mails" is a protracted activity that once was something you glanced at every week or two. Answers to those three questions then have to be cross-referenced with other vendors and participants. Hey, DJ, the coordinator says you're in charge of processional music but you say that your job starts at the reception, what gives? It will make your head spin.

I am the the sort of person who likes to think things really through and then not have to worry about it. This approach has pros and cons. On one hand, a thing doesn't have to eat my life as much when I knock out all of the heavy thinking with one fell swoop. I can relax, knowing that I have the decisions made and that until it's time for the next step, I can devote my brain cells to other things, like reading Failbook and looking at Collies online and in the living room. On the other hand, the spurts of Figuring Things Out can be pretty gnarly and consuming.

Today has been about figuring out: the venue (Valle Vista Country Club, which helpfully takes care of several things but half the day has still been spent corresponding with the wedding planner - props to her for being so available and helpful). The DJ (set up a meeting with him in early January, I've seen a couple positive mentions of him on wedding forums but the lack of reviews of any sort that I've found scare me a little). The once-and-for-all down-to-the-cent budget. The bakery (closed Mondays. Carries over 'til tomorrow). The Mars/Venus planning-style drama ("I feel like you don't even caaaare about our weddddiinnng!" I will steer clear of Bridezilla crazies, but even I am subject to standard PMS emo-times, sometimes. At those times, I feel lucky that my future MIL is a social worker with good mediating skills). The catering ("Have you looked at the menu that we picked last month? Is there even a main course here? I can't find one." "There are cold cuts..." "That is not a main course." "It's not?"). The stupid rehearsal dinner (pain in my ass, that's all I'm saying). The workout plan (grueling).

So, things just got cranked up a little. I'm overwhelmed. I'm excited. I'm terrified. (Fortunately, just about the technicalities of getting married. I'm plenty ready to be married.) I'm thrilled. I'm organized. I'm disorganized. I've got this, I'm pretty sure.


  1. Makes perfect sense; you're not worried about the marriage--but the wedding is killing you. Much better than the reverse, though :) I'm sorry I've evidently missed your last couples posts--ordinarily I count on my Google to let me know another post is out, but it didn't show up. I might have missed one, but hard for me to think I missed more--Google Reader is my home page. I think that it might be because one of the blogs I read posts at least once a day and their posts are crowding out everyone else's. I should have been checking my Dashboard instead.

  2. No worries Lorelei, I do enjoy your thoughtful comments though. :) No being married jitters to speak of - I've got a definite keeper. But holy meatballs wedding planning can eat a person's life.